NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS I'VE ALREADY BROKEN

I'm not a strongly willed woman
  1. Eat less shit food
  2. Drink less alcohol
  3. No seriously, drink less
  4. At least during the week
  5. I'm v hungover rn
  6. I ate like a whole box of Triscuits at 1 AM
  7. With a shit-ton of hummus
  8. Those aren't resolutions but maybe they should have been