1. Use social media
    to make self proclaimed witty remarks about his character on The Office. Ones I'm sure he's never heard before.
  2. Tell him how much your kid liked his book. (Whether you've read it to him or not)
  3. Do some creepy research
    about him online, come up with a fake alias and get in touch with him claiming your his long lost buddy who just happens to live in South Dakota now.
  4. Offer him something that you sell for free.
    Like a tank of gas or some special relic that can only be found in Brookings SD.
  5. Do some research
    about causes he supports with his celebrity - and try to have a serious conversation with him about how you can help.
  6. Try to get a hold of him through Mindy Kaling, (or is it Laheery?) and see if she wants to come too.
  7. Beg
  8. Try and get into his mind
    and understand; "If I were BJ, and I were showing up to a small town, and someone randomly tried to get me to stop and say hello, what would grab my attention?"
  9. Go on an app platform
    he's trying to promote and make a list about the top ten ways to get his attention in the hopes that he'll have an opinion about it.
  10. Give up - and pray that he doesn't make fun of you at the show in front of people you know.
  11. Static