THINGS MY MOM SAID ABOUT MY FIRST TATTOO

  1. That she, my mother, is a failure.
  2. That only people in the navy have tattoos.
  3. That only people in the circus have tattoos.
  4. That I will never get to be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
    We are not Jewish.
  5. That I will get AIDS.
  6. That I am easily influenced.
  7. That people on the beach will judge me.
  8. That I should have tried drawing it in sharpie first. Just to see how it looks.