Things I've Learned From Being a Writers Assistant on a Show About Ancient Israel

The Bible is so weird, y'all....
  1. Old Testament God was a motherfucker
    Srsly so vengeful.
  2. The Star of David didn't become the Star of David until the end of the 19th century
    Before that, it was just a star!
  3. King David's dowry for his first wife was a bag of a hundred foreskins
    Fucking nasty.
  4. The Philistines were pretty cool bros
    They were technologically advanced, and their sociological practices are surprisingly modern. Homosexuality was pretty cool with them. They knew how to smelt like no one's business. The Israelites thought it was SUPER GROSS that they didn't get circumcised.
  5. Divorce was semi-chill
    But only on the basis that the man grew to find the woman "unfavorable." If the woman was unfaithful, she was MAD STONED, YO. (Not the 420 kind).
  6. The Iron Age was a little like the nuclear arms race.
    Only a select few knew how to turn ore into steel, and those who did dominated in battle.
  7. New couples fucked during their wedding ceremonies
    And when they were done, they displayed a bloodied cloth as proof. Guuuuurl.