THINGS THAT BRING ME GREAT SATISFACTION THAT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T

  1. Swallowing all of my vitamins without choking or gagging
    I am still a little baby girl.
  2. Honking when it's valid
  3. Saying no to exercise
  4. Saying no to eating healthy
  5. Plucking my eyebrows
  6. Those eye drops that sting the shit out of your eyeball
  7. Picking my nose in my car
  8. Smells that come out of me
  9. Unfollowing people who've wronged me on social media
    Even better if they find out.
  10. Repeatedly making unintended awkward eye contact with a stranger or coworker and then making a that's-so-raven-having-a-vision face at them like I just saw some weird shit that's gonna happen to them in the future.
  11. Saying yes to drugs jk
  12. Being sleep deprived
    I get hella loopy and dance a lot when no music is playing.