BABY'S FIRST TINDER

One part boredom. Two parts curiosity. Three million parts for the list.
  1. Not tindering while abroad has been one of my biggest regrets in life.
  2. So, as my niece's Christening brought me to a foreign place, I thought it would be an opportune time for my tinder debut.
    Location: Ontario, Canada
  3. Starting up was kind of a stress. First of all, the account is set up through Facebook which always makes me a little paranoid. Second, writing a bio and choosing pics was time consuming.
    Thank you to my friends who helped a sister out.
  4. But before you knew it, ya girl was live and swiping right.
    First swipe was a match. I was told tinder does this to get you hooked. It worked.
  5. And so, the following are highlights of my first tinder spirit journey:
  6. I started out aggressively swiping right for a while. Then the matches started coming in.
    It's def a self esteem boost.
  7. I took a break, came back, started swiping, this time pickier. Literally matched on every swipe for a hot 20 swipes.
    Either Canadians are really friendly or I am hot stuff. Probably the latter.
  8. It got to the point where I started to get a complex if I swiped right and didn't match.
    Bitch, did you not hear?! I'm fucking hot stuff.
  9. As the day went on, I would go straight to the tinder app after unlocking my phone.
    Swear to god, it was like a drug.
  10. My first message from Martin-
    Context: my bio was "No, not Mindy Kaling" Side note: Mindy and I are both babes.
  11. Immediately screenshotted and messaged friends. To which they responded-
  12. Continued chatting with Martin.
    Tbh, I was kinda into it.
  13. Continued swiping. The following are things I noticed about boys in my range.
    1)Indians. Everywhere Indians. 2) our common interests were always skittles. Is this a thing? 3) a lot of boys like Netflix. Curious.
  14. I started to develop an MO
    I would respond to the ever so popular "hey" with "so [insert something from their bio] huh?" For example, "so drums huh?", "so TED talks huh?", "so sweaters huh?"
  15. My favorite profiles:
  16. This guy
    Tbh, kinda my aesthetic.
  17. This guy
  18. This guy
  19. Bio: "too blessed to be stressed"
  20. @lucy add this to the tumblr
  21. Bathroom selfies hollaa
  22. This middle aged woman who enjoys piña coladas
  23. My favorite exchanges:
  24. Lol. Jakub not Jacob.
  25. Notice the time stamps.
  26. Darryl could not hang
  27. Ugh
  28. Ew
  29. Lol. Into it.
  30. K buddy
  31. Some Grammatical errors I noticed:
  32. Commas
  33. You've probably have seen him.
  34. After a while of swiping I started to feel guilty.
  35. But with a heavy heart, I finished my first 24 hours with tinder strong. And in conclusion I have accomplished three things:
  36. 1. I have confirmed what I already knew.
    That I could get it.
  37. 2. I have discovered a new talent.
    Flirty texting. I'm pretty good.
  38. 3. I am Canada's most eligible bachelorette.
  39. P.S. For those of you interested in Martin's future: He was charming, had great taste in TV, we made a suicide pact. But then I had to let him know he was not getting any. But that I hoped he finds love.