Harm I've caused myself.

Inspired by @Boogie inspiring story.
  1. I always thought I was fat.
    At the age of 4 I put myself on a diet.
  2. Me At four.
  3. I also knew not to tell my parents at the age of 9 that I was throwing away my food.
  4. Then at the age of 12 I found a website kinda like live journal but just for anorexics and bulimics. Where you would post half naked bodies of inspiration or your own picture and call yourself a cow, tubby, and disgusting.
  5. And then we all would tell you just to eat 100-400 calories a day and you'll be thin in no time.
  6. So I did.
  7. And I was skinny from 12-18 but I couldn't enjoy it. I never slept, I was binging and purging. And I would self harm just to show how much I hated my body.
  8. From 18-24 I was purely bulimic. And miserable.
  9. Then I went into a semi recovery. Sought some help and got diagnosed with some fun mental disorders
  10. But the physical damage I did to my body for 12 years is beyond belief.
  11. Four root canals. - I have dental insurance. But even with that I could have paid off my car with that money.
  12. The inability to lose weight normally.
  13. My body now believes I'm going to die at any time. And therefore it will not allow me to lose weight what so ever. I work out 2x a day, eat right mostly. But my body still believes im going to purge.
  14. Iron deficiency
  15. Body dysmorphia
  16. Borderline personality disorder.
  17. Sensitive and usually always in pain teeth.
  18. SADS disease.
  19. Anxiety and OCD
  20. All of these were once preventable.
  21. Now I'm a nanny and I make damn sure to never speak poorly about anyone's body ever
  22. Or talk about any type of food in a negative light.