Nighttime phases my dog goes through before I can go to bed.

  1. Phase 1: cuddle me I'm adorable also how did I get in your bed? I'm a ninja
  2. Phase 2: mom removes disgusting bib and I do this annoying lip thing where I smack my lips. It's so fucking loud. And he does it at 2 am too.
  3. Phase three: just kidding I'm not tired let's play.
  4. Phase four: in exhausted from the five minutes of play let's cuddle and sleep. Until I get bored of you humans and go to my cooling Mat.
  5. I'll also leave no room for you to actually lay down. On your king sized bed.