Requested by Brett 7

The Nanny Code

Requested by @BWN_7
  1. So there's a code between nannies and their kids and between all nannies.
  2. THE KIDS:
  3. You won't tell their parents they fucked up as long doesn't involve blood, injuries, or bad grades.
    There's been three times in ten years I have gotten the parents involved. One when a kid threw a rock at a kid and hurt that kids eye. ( they were playing a game. ) once when the kid lied about homework and once when the kid who I potty trained over one year ago peed on the stairs. ( I probably could have handled that one on my own but like I was so shocked. )
  4. The kids will not tell on you if you accidentally fall asleep after you get home from a long day of zoo activities and you will continue to love them.
  5. You will accidentally swear. Usually when a car almost hits your car with the kids in it. The kids will usually not tell if you tell them you're sorry.
    I have a potty mouth but when I'm at work I don't ever accidentally slip up unless it's in a car.
  6. PARENTS
  7. You as parents are doing your best. I promise as a nanny to always take pictures of the fun shit we do. And not in a rub it in your face way. And I'll always tell you your kids miss you when you're out of town for work even if they didn't tell me that.
  8. You will ask my opinion on an important matter after I've been your nanny for three years. Then you won't follow that advice and you will probably regret it. And I won't rub it in your face.
    I will go home and call my mom and bitchabout it.
  9. You will use me to get your kids to do stuff that you can't do. Potty training, eating healthy, trying new foods, and cleaning.
    You aren't bad parents. It's just that I don't think of your kids as my baby angels. I think of them as kids who need to be taught to be grown baby angels.
  10. If you give your nanny a crappy birthday gift or forget about their birthday even though it's one day after your kids and for the last two years you remembered. We will remember that the next time you want us to work late.
  11. If you want us to be happy please for the love of everything do not text us on our days off asking where something is unless you literally have looked everywhere
    Your kids soccer ball is under her bed where it belongs. Your kids soccer shoes are in her shoe bin. Remember when I asked you if I could organize her room? It's labeled.
  12. If I'm teaching your kids how to be clean human beings and they see you be disgusting slobs you'll win. You gave them life. I'll also really hate you on Mondays when I come in to find a disaster that I didn't leave.
  13. OTHER NANNY:
  14. We will compare our families but not judge the kids. The kids are off limits.
  15. The adults are not.
    Your parents don't make to do their laundry? You don't have to clean their bathrooms?
  16. We will talk about how good or how shitty our kids are being during the day through texts.
    Oh Grace locked you out of the house and screamed? Huh.
  17. We will plan multiple activities together during the summer to stay sane.
    The pool is your friend.
  18. You don't have to feel guilty when you tell a kid you don't want to play with them right then and there.
    If you're like me you have laundry, housework, cooking, and shopping to do.
  19. You will however make sure you pay attention to them. Offer for them to play around you. And pause your work daily to praise your nanny kid about how awesome whatever they are doing is
  20. You will never suggest me to babysit your nanny kids when you can't.
    No.
  21. You will ask me for advice on punishing your nanny kid because you are scared to.
    Don't be.
  22. You and I will get margaritas and pedicures once a month and bitch about everything but at the end of the day we will love our jobs.
    It's not that we don't it's that we have to figure out where we fit into a family that's not our own.