1. Here's the deal. Until my current boyfriend I really just picked guys to sleep with that were attractive and insane.
  2. So one night I'm at this bar with my bestie and we are drunk off of our asses. ( there's a drink called dr. Watson. It's a must. )
    Also this bar is known . For cougars picking up college guys.
  3. I see this hot dude who looks like a linebacker and I'm like yes. I want him. So I bring him and his friend over for drinks.
    Alcohol makes me a cocky asshole.
  4. One thing leads to another and we all ( my friend included) go back to his place. Where he fucking tells me he has ducks in his bathtub. Live ducks.
  5. I was like whaaaaa show me right now.
  6. And then he did something crazier than the baby ducks! He pulls out this ring and was like i bought this ring for my ex who dumped me yesterday.
  7. And he started bawling.
  8. So of course I had to sleep with him.
    One night stands used to be my jam.
  9. But then a few weeks later I'm on an actual date with some dude and he's there trying to tell my best friend that he misses me.
  10. Uh no.
  11. So we didn't go back to the bar for like a year after that.
  12. The end.
    Except not really. Because he got back with his ex and still messages me to this day. Lolol