1. I keep watching the same episode of forensic files because I keep falling asleep at the same part every time and I never find out what happened.
  2. My favorite saying in my early 20's was " that's almost as vague As that other thing" why? Why did I think this was hilarious ?
  3. I remember fondly of the days when it was so cool to only wear eyeliner under your eye. It was the same time Angels and Airwaves was the shit.
  4. My grandpa was one of those dudes that got fed LSD by the government and no one believed him until t came out in court. He died the day before I was born. If there is an after life I want to know all the things.
  5. I miss a lot of things about the government but mainly like how we tried to train cats to be bomb carriers or spies. We have lost so much hope in cats.
  6. I remember my church group going on that dumb compass hike where you have to find your way out with clues and shit. And my mom being like fuckkkkkk that and taking us to go get ice cream instead. What a baller.
  7. Someone bring back the " what everrrrrrr" phrase.
  8. I'm house sitting a Great Dane and he purposely knocks over my drinks with his face. And then watches me clean up his mess.
  9. I remember my insane grandma sending me to a john Birch society camp to be brainwashed about the government when I was 12. Instead of being brainwashed I ended up fucking with the older campers love life by starting a gossip newspaper during my free time. Suck it grandma.
  10. I've been organizing and cleaning this playroom for 3 hours but definitely fell asleep on a rug. I woke up to a maintenance man yelling downstairs about handles.
  11. If these people in this house have a camera they just saw me naked. Although I have a feeling they will be more disturbed by it than I am. I love being naked.
  12. I just explained to my mom what ghosting is. And she goes " like friend zoned but way down in the Zone? I get it. Ghost away. " what ?
  13. Finished forensic files. Didn't disappoint. Also crime Reenactments are my new favorite.
  14. People who just know how to mix prints. I envy you but also don't trust you. Like how do you wear stripes and polkadots and still look sane. Fuck you.
  15. High waisted things don't look good when you're sitting down. Hence why you never see any kardashian sitting and chilling.