Things I should apologize to my neighbors for:

  1. I'm really sorry for my large dog that is black and invisible at night.
  2. I'm really sorry for the bags currently outside my door but someone on li.st was all like this is how you adult so I like tried to adult and clean out my apartment of clutter. But I decided to let the valet trash guys take the trash and just tip them a $20.
  3. I'm really sorry for all the backstreet boys playing during this adult session and the bad singing.
  4. And in really sorry for never wearing pants and never being ashamed to be seen in no pants just Hannah from girls Lena Dunham style lack of shame.
  5. I'm also really sorry for drunk watching investigation discovery and screaming in victory when I solve the murder.
  6. Also if it's towards the end of the semester normally around December 6th I'm sorry for all school related meltdowns. Being a sociology major causes two kinds of stress. The feelings of not doing enough to fix the world, and the feelings of complete self doubt that you ever will.
    Or my meds ran out. In that case lock your fucking doors.