What I've learned from my therapist..
Looking for a therapist is always a risky, vulnerable state. I'm very thankful to have found someone that is so skilled, experienced, kind yet firm. I thought it'd be helpful to write down some of the memorable pieces I'm trying to incorporate into my life.
- •The most compassionate people are the most boundaried people.OK, so this is actually a Brene Brown quote, but when I first read it my reaction was, "Well, shit." I like to think of myself as a compassionate person, but I often say yes to things ands later find myself cursing under my breath about "so-and-so who made me do such-and-such."
- •Boundaries are flexible and contextual expressions of self careBoundaries aren't fixed - I don't always need to say "yes" or"no" to a particular person, situation, or request. By assessing my own capacity, interest, needs, and abilities at a particular time I can make a healthy decision for myself.
- •Being accommodating may earn you the reputation of being "nice" but often leads to resentment.See bullet one before making decisions.
- •We're all doing our best with what we've got.Be kind to yourself and others. And sometimes being kind looks like saying no or speaking the truth.
- •Sidenote: looking back over this list I wish I could rearrange the order of bullets easily.I'm new here. Is that possible? Am I missing something? Later: Did it! Shout out @andersun who helped me with this!