Annoying Things About My Parents House
Starring my dad
- •My dad explaining the food prep plansAlready sick of it, and we're still driving home from the airport.
- •My dad telling me for the 50th time that I'm going to help make the wassailHe explained that I can choose whether to use the pre-packaged spices or the recipe. I chose the pre-packaged before he even finished speaking. I'm so done with this wassail.
- •Nobody even knows what "wassail" is. Just call it fucking cider.After all that, @alexandraeu ended up making the wassail. Score!
- •My dad is still talking about food prep
- •Mispronouncing wordsPinot Jerusalo. Endame. Cannoli oil (which is actually funny, but annoying because now I want that to be a real thing).
- •My dad explaining in what order we need to get our food, to avoid traffic jams
- •Basically my dad talking non-stop about what he wants everyone to do
- •My dad touching the food with his hands
- •My dad suggesting we only brew another half pot of coffeeDon't worry dad. We WILL drink it all.
- •The same assortment of crusty old sweetener packets that they put out every time we visitMy parents don't sweeten their coffee/tea
- •Raisin bagels and fruit flavored cream cheeseThe two cream cheeses offered were strawberry and jalapeño. Luckily, I found some plain in the fridge. (Not that I mind jalapeño, but ... still)
- •Expired foodOne time I saw him pick the mold off some turkey cold cuts and eat the turkey.
- •Bar soapA slippery mess.
- •One-ply toilet paperWorst. TP. Ever.