Starring my dad
  1. My dad explaining the food prep plans
    Already sick of it, and we're still driving home from the airport.
  2. My dad telling me for the 50th time that I'm going to help make the wassail
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    He explained that I can choose whether to use the pre-packaged spices or the recipe. I chose the pre-packaged before he even finished speaking. I'm so done with this wassail.
  3. Nobody even knows what "wassail" is. Just call it fucking cider.
    After all that, @alexandraeu ended up making the wassail. Score!
  4. My dad is still talking about food prep
  5. Mispronouncing words
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    Pinot Jerusalo. Endame. Cannoli oil (which is actually funny, but annoying because now I want that to be a real thing).
  6. My dad explaining in what order we need to get our food, to avoid traffic jams
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  7. Basically my dad talking non-stop about what he wants everyone to do
  8. My dad touching the food with his hands
  9. My dad suggesting we only brew another half pot of coffee
    Don't worry dad. We WILL drink it all.
  10. The same assortment of crusty old sweetener packets that they put out every time we visit
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    My parents don't sweeten their coffee/tea
  11. Raisin bagels and fruit flavored cream cheese
    The two cream cheeses offered were strawberry and jalapeño. Luckily, I found some plain in the fridge. (Not that I mind jalapeño, but ... still)
  12. Expired food
    One time I saw him pick the mold off some turkey cold cuts and eat the turkey.
  13. Bar soap
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    A slippery mess.
  14. One-ply toilet paper
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    Worst. TP. Ever.