I wish I could say it's because I'm an early riser. I am not an early riser.
  1. I had a Halloween party this weekend and opened my windows so guests wouldn't overheat in their costumes.
  2. I didn't close them (the windows).
  3. NYC hasn't yet had a cold snap.
  4. The neighborhood (Bed Stuy) didn't get sprayed with anti-mosquito chemicals from a government helicopter like richer Brooklyn neighborhoods.
  5. I awoke to buzzing in my ear at 4 am.
  6. I had killed the motherfucker. Its corpse was stuck to my lower lip.
  7. I have at least 4 swelling mosquito bites on my damn face. (I put some steroidal ointment on them and took Advil.)
  8. I am allergic to mosquito bites - they swell up to like 5cm in diameter and blister and scar and all sorts of terrible shit.
  9. I've seen another beast in the room. I haven't been able to kill it. I tried. Oh how I've tried.
  10. I will go put on some bug spray.
  11. My cat mocks me with her thick coat as she SNORES RIGHT NOW. I hope she gets fleas. (I take that back.)
  12. I wish this were the first time.