Why Britain is Better Than America

I'm an American and a British citizen and have lived in both countries. Therefore I'm qualified (Please don't attack me with your guns)
  1. The money
    The British pound is far more colourful than the green and boring dollar dollar bills. And the queen's majestic face is on ALL of them! Fuck American dollars and their variety of white men. Also the coins are much more logical as the coin size/weight actually INCREASES as the value does!
  2. The actors
    Not only has Britain produced countless talented actors throughout the years, but they're all classy and likable no matter how many people they throw tea at
  3. Freedom of speech
    Basically in America if two people disagree it's not a matter of opinion it's "you're wrong and I'm right". Religion, politics, who you want to win the bachelor whatever- you tread on eggshells in case they disagree and scream their opinion in your face. Cause freedom of speech translates to freedom of ignorance that someone has different beliefs than mine that may be valid. Brits are either too polite to diss your view or they agree to disagree because unless you're a neo-nazi who gives a shit?
  4. The language
    Aluminium is far superior to aluminum; The movies sound cheap, the cinema is classy; Lorry is much less intimidating than truck. And if you ever say "burglarized" in front of a British person they will hit you.
  5. The town names
    Town names like Springfield are common and boring, but in the U.K. your town will ALWAYS be unique! Ramsbottom, Shittington, Ugley, Cockernhoe- these are a select few from a list I couldn't even be bothered to read the whole of
  6. The English aren't afraid to laugh at themselves
    Yes, the British empire was a thing. Yes, we're rude. Yes, the weather is meh. But the world loves us anyway, and our best jokes are about our failures as a nation and a people. Americans are more sensitive on such matters. Cause you know, America is the best country in the world. Nothing's funny about our freedom.
  7. Boaty McBoatface
    The public voted to name a new fancy boat Boaty McBoatface. Even in a world where Brexit happened, the one thing everyone can agree on is humour and pissing off whoever organized that vote. And let's be real, if this were in the U.S. you know the title would have the words "freedom" or "liberty" in it