HOW I LEARNED MY SISTER WOULD KILL FOR ME

True story. 👯
  1. A Whole New World.
    When I was in elementary school, our family moved to middle-of-nowhere suburbia. There were so many trees and so few inhabited buildings that I asked if we were moving "to another world." They said no, but not convincingly. Going to Wal-Mart became our most exciting weekend activity.
  2. Wild Imaginations.
    My sister and I have always had a morbid fascination with true crime shows, so I think secretly we were always hoping for some (bloody) adventure.
  3. #latchkeylife
    Both my parents worked, and my brother was often at some kind of practice after school, so my sister and I were "latchkey kids." Our carpool would drop us off and we would run wild for the afternoon (read: do our homework and watch tv).
  4. Have you checked the children?
    On this particular afternoon, I was 6, and my sister was 12. As soon as we got home, we got a call from our alarm company informing us that our alarm has gone off during the day and telling us to be cautious. (I don't know if they realized they were talking to a preteen).
  5. Loss of innocence
    I was sitting at the kitchen counter, concentrating intensely on my first grade homework. My sister was in the living room. Suddenly, the side door in our house, connected to the laundry room, began rattling, like someone was trying to get in!
  6. Calm, cool, and collected.
    Naturally, I screamed. My sister grabbed the phone and a butcher knife 🔪 and told me to go to the basement.
  7. Calling for backup
    We called my dad who told us to go back upstairs (this still seems like poor advice). I was sobbing because getting murdered/robbed in real life wasn't as fun as I'd imagined.
  8. And that's when she said it.
    "Don't worry, Bre, if it's a bad guy, I'll stab them to death."
  9. This was really comforting, obviously.
  10. We went back upstairs...
    And found a police officer at our front door! He was the culprit trying to break in! My sister hid the knife behind her back and opened the door. Our alarm company had sent him and he was just checking to make sure everything was okay.
  11. He surveyed the premises
    At our request, he checked behind the shower curtains, the closets, and under the bed, and confirmed that the wind had blown the door in our basement open, triggering the alarm.
  12. "A robber's paradise."
    He told us to tell our parents to get the door fixed, because otherwise our house would be "a robber's paradise." I don't know why he would say this to children, but okay.
  13. The proper authorities.
    Our parents came home, and we ended up having a babysitter who came and stayed with us each afternoon until my sister was a little older.
  14. But I wasn't afraid anymore.
    I knew that if there was ever a threat, my sister wouldn't hesitate to kill for me.
  15. And that's a beautiful thing.
    The end.