THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS 📂🌷
Unburdening my soul in the spirit of spring cleaning!
- •I once stole from my teacherI was in the second grade, and it was a Special Treasures box, like the picture. (My taste has improved since then). I gave it back the next day by pretending I'd found it. She obviously knew I was lying, but was very sweet about it.
- •I ruled the playground through threats and violenceI used to tell elementary school classmates that if they messed with me, I would send them to the "torture chamber."
- •I hired a hitman (of sorts)I told my sister, who was in the 7th grade, that a girl pushed me down at recess (we were in 1st grade). My sister, who is overprotective (see HOW I LEARNED MY SISTER WOULD KILL FOR ME) pushed her down to avenge me, and made her apologize. The thing is...I knew she didn't push me on purpose.
- •I intentionally failed my eye exam in 3rd gradeI was determined to get glasses, so I pretended my vision was worse than it was. Joke's on me though, because now I actually have horrible vision 🤓
- •I snuck into Confession occasionallyI went to Catholic schools from kindergarten through college. I'm not Catholic, but I would sometimes go to Confession just for the experience
- •I failed my driving test 4 times.First 2 times were back to back, and I'd seriously never been behind the wheel before (no idea why my parents took me). Third time, I hit a cone parking. Fourth time, popped a wheel coming back into the center (i'd done everything else perfectly!). I promise I'm a good driver now.
- •I was a middle school mean girl.I went to a new school in 5th grade and saw an opportunity for power. I had a slam book with another girl, where we used code names, used 3 way calling to hurt feelings, and was just generally awful. 🙍🏽
- •I attended a coed after-prom slumber partyMy mom used to call the mom of every friend whose house I wanted to go to-through senior year, which was obviously mortifying. She missed the memo that the sleepover post-prom was coed, so I got my first all-night cuddle sesh (literally, I used this opportunity to cuddle, not even kiss 🙈). #sorrymom
- •Every time I think about "Confessions" being about Jermaine Dupri rather than Usher, I die a little inside.It's true. Do your Googles.
- •Sometimes I still wish you'd call.