THINGS I GOT TO DO AS A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER THIS PAST WEEK

Hire me plz
  1. DISSECT A SQUID
    Two periods x 5 table groups x 3 squids at each table = 30 dead squid carcasses sacrificed for science
  2. DISCUSS POOR CHOICES
    Note that "what" is misspelled but the third word is not.
  3. READ THIS CLASSIC NOVEL
    Miss Viola Swamp is still scary as all hell.
  4. WITNESS BRAVE SOULS SWING ACROSS THE MONKEY BARS
    So much talent and patience. I see tons of potential.
  5. CONSOLE A CRYING CHILD
    Student started crying when he realized he couldn't bring his parents to fifth grade camp with him. He's in the first grade. He's got four years. Chill bro.