THINGS THAT GENUINELY UPSET ME

  1. When people are clearly using the word "too" but spell it "to."
  2. When people don't even flinch as an ambulance blares by.
  3. When women don't admit they masturbate.
    Come on.
  4. When straight women sincerely try to avoid looking at other women's breasts.
    It's like they're out for a reason, why not acknowledge they are pretty.
  5. When there's a yellow light and I have the right of way and as I'm about to make a left some fucking asshole goes through a red and I'm at that awkward in-between where I'm ahead of the crosswalk but still unable to turn so pedestrians are weaving around me frowning.
  6. The fact that every fashion-forward female in LA wears some sort of simple tee, aged denim and white sneakers and acts like it's the most innovative thing ever.
  7. The fact that I have subscribed to this too.
  8. The fact that mapquest thinks it's god's gift to earth but still has you make a left on sunset when there's no light.
  9. The act of receiving voicemails.
    They give me anxiety. If I see that you've called what's the point of leaving a fucking voicemail. Send me a goddam text if it's so fucking urgent.
  10. The fact I am still menstruating even though it's been over a week.
  11. The fact most everyone I know is actually incapable of spending extended periods of time with themselves and that it's somehow become socially acceptable to text all day during work.
  12. People that jump rope in small gyms.
    Can't you do this in your local park or something