FIRST FIVE GOOGLE IMAGES RESULTS FOR PAUL RUDD, RANKED

You Ruddy for this?
  1. 1.
    Not saving the best for last, here. This is the cream of the crop. This is Rudd at his most moisturized and pensive. Notice the slight cleft chin. The tiny smirk. The passion.
  2. 2.
    Here we fucking go. This is Dad Rudd. Or maybe that math teacher from middle school who works at Express over the summer and runs into you at music festivals. God help us, the hair.
  3. 3.
    No, he doesn't need the bottom row of teeth. Look at the glittering eyes. Windows to the soul. This is a matured, groomed, wise Rudd. This is what it's all about.
  4. 4.
    This Rudd left you and your mother when you were just seven. His chest hair taunts you and induces a vaguely Oedipal fury. Take a deep breath.
  5. 5.
    Here's the deal. This is a gentle man. He just walked into the Walmart Garden Center to buy some potting soil and maybe a cactus. Who knows? He's spontaneous, in his own quiet way. You love him, but you're not IN love with him. He just seems a little too distracted to really commit.