MOST ANTICIPATED MOMENTS IN BOOTLEG DVD OF NEW STAR WARS

  1. Camera autofocuses during scrolling infinity text
  2. Baby cries in distance
  3. Man coughs near camera
  4. Distracting Korean subtitles
  5. Someone bumps tripod
  6. Disappointment, not only in the quality of a DVD purchased outside a papuseria, but in my expectation of a franchise as old as myself to remain unchanged yet deliver something that appeals to both my current taste and my nostalgic infantilism.