POWERBRAWL RULES

  1. Tell your cousin about the cool house you'd buy your mom.
    She deserves it, man. Putting up with your shit all these years.
  2. Tell your girl how good it'll feel to pay off your debts.
    Not just the credit cards but like money you borrowed ten years ago--but with interest. Crazy interest.
  3. Of course a few nice things for you.
    Time to ditch the Camry and SNES. Do they even make tube televisions anymore. Nice pad, natch, but also some like fresh calamari and a trip or two. Nothing too ostentatious of course.
  4. Charity.
    Kids have had a tough time this year. And countries. AIDS too. Spread it around a little. Ease some pain you know.
  5. Invest.
    Hire one of those big financial wizards to get that money working for you. Maybe even make some movies. Good money in movies. DiCaprio!!!!!
  6. Defeat all Powerbrawl opponents with cunning and razor sharp survival skills.
    Look, these guys are hungry. Never sleep for a second or you'll get deaded faster than that time you played Street Fighter 2 on your SNES against your cousin in your mom's ratty ass ranch in Abingdon. You fucking dipshit button mashing Camry driving paycheck to paycheck living chump--do you think this is a fucking game? Stop eating garbage and train. Day. And. Night. Train until there's nothing left in you but kill.