STARWARS MARKETING OPS

  1. Chewman takes a deuce.
    Popular toilet paper gets a nod for absorption and softness.
  2. Hyperdrive gets busted.
    Hans suggests a light snack of Craisins. Long flights, he might suggest, demand a snack both satisfying and sophisticated.
  3. Beastmaster crossover.
    Marc Singer gets popcorn dressed as his Beastmaster and talks to the camera. "Ferrets are illegal in New York City," he says. "They don't belong in this theater or anyplace else. And dying animals can kill them! Don't mess with nature's stripes. Chewman is a natural beast, and Hans would never dye him. We regret the death of Sultan the tiger resulting from his participation in Beastmaster, but I will never regret seeing the Force awaken on opening night in a local theater. With the big screen!"