MY INNER MONOLOGUE WHEN I FOUND OUT MY ROOMMATES ARE BOTH MOVING OUT.

Apparently they gave notice to our landlord over the weekend without mentioning it to me first.
  1. Those bitches.
    I can't believe they told Roger before they told me.
  2. Oh god, does this mean the universe is telling me to live alone again?
    Before I moved in here with my best friend @kstud, I had lived on my own for 7 years. The first 5 were in a gigantic place when I used to be a rich lawyer. The last 2 were in a shitty 1BR I called the Fortress of Solitude after I finished graduate school. I've since had two relationships that I was pretty sure were headed toward cohabitation and both times, naaaaaaaah.
  3. I was just telling @vp that I felt like I needed to start planning to find a new place in the next year or so.
    Because what I won't do is turn 40 in a couple of years while still living with 20-somethings. Unless I fall in love with and decide to marry one. Bada-bing! (J/Ks, I work with youngsters and am therefore immediately turned off by anyone under 30)
  4. I am so bad at living alone.
    This is profoundly true. I need other people around to motivate me to keep things tidy and not spend too much time lazing on the couch. Also, loneliness.
  5. Then again, I have been trying to Secret* the one girl to move out for months.
    *Does everyone else use the title of this 2006 self-help bestseller as a verb or is that just me? Anyway, things have been sort of tense because she is always worried about money and trying to find ways to reduce our utilities bills. By, like, trying to boycott the cable bill and secretly turning off the air conditioning in the middle of the night. If I lived alone the only person who would annoy me would be me.
  6. But this apartment!!!
    My friends found it 8 years ago and it has stayed "in the family" ever since. It's large, in a great location, w/the amenities of a much nicer place. (Did you notice how I mentioned central air like it's no big deal a second ago? It's a BIG deal. So are the dishwasher & free laundry in the basement.) The landlords live downstairs and take amazing care of it. It's painted how I like it & big enough to host 16-person dinner parties & I have free garage parking & its name is Castle Damen & ahhhhhh
  7. I CANNOT LEAVE THIS APARTMENT.
    I'd end up paying at least 2/3 more to move to a worse location with much less space. I'd lose the porch swing.
  8. The porch swing!!!!
  9. Ae they moving out to move in with each other somewhere else? Do they hate me?
    Full disclosure: I've been kinda down in the dumps lately and staying in my room more than usual. Everyone's been going through stuff. But the vibe in the apartment isn't what it used to be, and that's unfortunate.
  10. Why do I really care, really, if two Craigslist randos hate me?
    Especially because I'm not very fond of one of them, anyway? I guess because I need to be liked, and because I feel guilty for not being more cheerful lately.
  11. A fresh start could be good!
    I have the text of the old ad and almost two months' notice. I can totally find people. I've done it before. And this time I can screen for people who properly understand the value of being able to watch So You Think You Can Dance live.
  12. But what if the people on Craigslist think I'm a scary weirdo who drives people away?
    Is $550/month for a beautifully furnished place in Lincoln Square enough to make them not care even if I am?
  13. It's okay to give myself another year before another big life change, right?
    I can start setting money aside and researching other neighborhoods. I can ready myself for good things by acting as if they're happening. I can Secret my next great living situation!
  14. But in the meantime, if you know anyone who's looking for a place in Chicago for September 1...HIT ME UPPPPPP.