NEVER HAVE I EVER...

Had what I thought was a unique idea to write one of these lists, quickly realized it was a List Meme like 17 weeks ago. I think we should bring it back!
  1. Been kissed when I wasn't expecting it
    This only happens in movies, right? Or maybe I've just never worn my glasses for long enough and then taken them off all of a sudden?
  2. Visited Las Vegas
    I was all set to go my first year as an attorney and then a partner scheduled a meeting at 1pm on a Saturday. I asked him if I could conference in and he strongly discouraged it. See also: How and Why I Stopped Being a Lawyer.
  3. Gotten pregnant
    🙌🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻🙏🏻
  4. Watched Caddyshack
    There are plenty of holes in my film viewing history, but this one tends to surprise and disappoint people.
  5. Attended a fireworks display without oohing and aahing so excitedly that people around me comment on it
    I really like fireworks I guess? 🎆🎆🎆
  6. Seen a case to trial
    Practiced law for three years, never came close. This is, by the way, completely normal.
  7. Met someone with my last name out in the world
    It's not that weird a name, and I live in a town with a large Irish population. Also, last year a bar named Carrigan's opened in my hometown and we have NO IDEA WHY. The owner isn't, to my knowledge, named Carrigan. What gives, Universe? If I went there, would someone kiss me without my expecting it?
  8. Skipped an opportunity to exercise my right to vote
    In college I paid to FedEx my ballot back to Alabama then called my dad and gleefully told him I'd canceled out his vote. Adding insult to injury, I definitely spent his money on the shipping. To my dad's great credit, he just laughed heartily and reassured me that Dole would still carry the state. (He did.)