THOUGHTS MY CAT PROBABLY HAD DURING MY BREAKUP

  1. "While I'm not going to judge you for drinking two bottles of twist off Cabernet, if you're too hungover to feed me on time in the morning, I'm going to hate-barf on the floor."
  2. "Sex and the City? Really? You're the reason this Cat Lady stereotype bullshit exists."
  3. "On that note, if you attempt to get more cats to fill the void, I'll kick your ass. Shouldn't there be a vote?"
  4. "Stop being so pathetic and rub my belly."
  5. "Wasn't he allergic to me anyway? Fuck that guy."