Things I Pretend to Read

Call it lethargy, apathy, or negligence, I just call it practicality.
  1. The App Store Terms & Conditions
  2. Most college textbooks
  3. Articles my mom prints out for me about crimes in downtown Chicago
  4. Water slide rules
  5. Sometimes insurance policies at work
  6. Instruction manuals for my phone, laptop, etc.
  7. Nutrition labels
  8. "Nineteen Eighty-Four" by George Orwell
    I pretend to read this annually