1. That time in high school when I was having dinner with a friend and our waiter offered her a job as a shot girl at his club and I just sat eating my spaghetti
  2. The time I got stood up by my mom at a restaurant so I ate 3 baskets of rolls and then left
  3. The time I tried to impress a boy so I drank a wine glass full of syrup
  4. That time in 5th grade when boys nicknamed me Caribou and I never found out why
  5. That time I hugged some guy at a birthday party because I thought he was my dad then I remembered my dad was not at that party
  6. The time I forgot what my parents looked like when I was staying at my grandparents' house so I made them drive me home from Alabama to Texas early
  7. All the times my 9th grade boyfriend called me "baby"
  8. The time I wore a flower sticker on my face in my first grade yearbook picture
  9. The time I accidentally set a cookie on fire in the school microwave in middle school and tried to act like it wasn't me but everyone knew