The Stages of Writing a Paper (College Edition)

  1. Denial
    You receive the prompt and you say to yourself, "Due in 2.5 weeks? I don't have to think about this for a long time"
  2. Pre-acceptance
    In class, your professor begins saying stuff like: I hope you've all started thinking about your papers...
  3. Psuedo-acceptance
    You take a look at the prompt with 3 or 4 days left before its due. No other actions are taken...
  4. "Baby Steps"
    You open your laptop, sit down to ponder your assignment, and proceed to go on Facebook for an hour.
  5. 😌
    I've got like 48 hours left. Still have plenty of time
  6. More "Baby Steps"
    People begin to start asking you how your paper is coming along, so you feel pressured to sit down at your computer again and "gather your sources" by finding relevant readings while also scrolling thru Twitter
  7. GO Time
    It's the night before and it's time to start your paper. You open a new Word doc on your computer and proceed to go on Facebook for an hour or two
  8. 😩
    You write your introduction (aiming to knock out at least a page). Afterwards, you stand up and wiggle in the discomfort that writing your paper has inflicted
  9. 😣
    It takes you 2.5 hours to reach page 3. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?
  10. 😐
    After weighing the consequences of starting a movie on Netflix, you decide if you just focus for 30 minutes, then you can probably crank out another page and a half.
  11. 😒
    You suffer through that 30 minutes, but you manage to reach your goal.
  12. 😌
    You're just over a page from your page minimum. You're happy with your progress. It's only 1am. Time to go pee and find snacks
  13. Finishing Strong
    You've surpassed the page minimum and decide to write 3/4 of a page more to give yourself some cushion.
  14. 😏
    You're done writing. There's 2 hours before the deadline. You feel confident so you don't read your paper over again.
  15. SUBMIT
    You hit print/submit/send/whatever applies here. Bottom Line: you're DONE.
  16. Empty Promises
    You promise yourself that you'll never procrastinate like this ever again (until the next big paper).
  17. 🙏🏽
    You feel #blessed as you pray for that A- for minimal effort and maximum procrastination.