How to Make Your Mother-In-Law Love You

  1. Give her a job
    More than anything your mom-in-law wants to be connected to you, her son/daughter and grand kids (if you have any). Giving her a job when she comes to visit shows that you trust her and makes her feel included. When my son was born, my mother-in-law loved watching him so I could get some time to myself. We call that a win-win.
  2. Initiate
    Do you ever notice that people tend to hold on tighter if they feel insecure? When I consistently initiate by including my mother-in-law in something, she's way more chill. So snap a picture of something that makes you think of her and text it over. FaceTime her when your kid is up from his nap. Tell her you found a pair of black flats she'd love. Make her feel included & connected to your life.
  3. Ask about people in their life and their physical ailments.
  4. Stay off of politics and don't take the bait.
    So she might have just said something kind of racist and she's voting for someone you can't understand. Maybe she doesn't need to know how you feel about it. Then go text your friends that she's crazy, but don't take the bait. Keep things light. Ask her about her friend or the allergies she's been battling.
  5. Make a big deal out of something she does and make it only her thing.
    My mother-in-law is the queen of desserts so I never make them when she comes over. We always request her pies around the holidays. I can make dessert, but why? It's her thing and she loves it and I don't need to make everything a stand off.
  6. Let the little things go. Especially with kids
    So she's feeding your kids crap when they come to visit and she got them this hideous outfit you'd never put them in, throw it on them and act like it's the best thing you've ever seen. There's no reason to make a big thing about nothing.
  7. Establish boundaries around things that you really want to be your own. Redirect and ask her advice about something else.
    For instance, we don't share the names we're thinking about for our kids or anything else we don't really want her input on. When it comes up I politely redirect to something I would like her advice on. What did you do when your kids started teething? How did you do potty training? What do you put in that pasta salad again?