How I quit smoking, in 1000 easy steps

  1. At 15, I thought I would quit smoking by college
  2. In college, I thought I would quit after graduation
  3. By age 29, I was worried I would smoke forever
  4. I tried to quit so many times in my 20s, but I always ended up pulling the crushed cigarettes out of the trash or bumming smokes from coworkers
  5. I finally quit in a bit of a roundabout way...
  6. I went to grad school and moved in with my parents!
  7. I used nicotine lozenges, which helped because it gave me something to do
  8. But then I got addicted to them!
  9. So after a year, I switched to the patch
  10. Which was itchy, made me twitch, and temporarily tattooed me in lint-covered lines from the sticky backing.
  11. But one day, the patch fell off
  12. And I didn't notice
  13. For three days
  14. And I was finally free!