Animals I Have Seen on this Road Trip That Are Definitely American
- •Squirrel fighting a snake by throwing dust in his face because the snake was just existing, as far as I could tellCalifornia
- •Black bear crossing the road to sleepily slide full-body down a rock face because it is so late and the day is so longGlacier Natl Park
- •Raven following the squirrel I'm feeding because that squirrel cannot carry all those snacks, lady, do the math we all gotta eat okayCalifornia
- •Pika standing on top of a rock screaming at the skyWyoming
- •Bachelor bison sitting in the middle of a totally empty field, moping.~buffalone~
- •Elk in the parking lot luxuriating in shade of cars that could kill it"It's hot and I'm a national treasure, y'all can heckin' deal with your goddamn toyotas where's your sense of patriotism now huh"
- •Roadrunner leading us like a spirit guide only to show us where he takes dirtbaths, stupid tourists!!! drink it up!!!Texas obviously
- •Dog absolutely weeping that he has to be at another Historical Point of Interest"It's not my history, you assholes, leave me in the caaaaar"
- •Two elephant seals either making out or fighting with their goofy-ass Star Wars cantina hose facesTeenagers tho amirite
- •A live armadilloJust kidding they do not exist