Animals I Have Seen on this Road Trip That Are Definitely American

U-S-A! U-S-A!
  1. Squirrel fighting a snake by throwing dust in his face because the snake was just existing, as far as I could tell
    California
  2. Black bear crossing the road to sleepily slide full-body down a rock face because it is so late and the day is so long
    Glacier Natl Park
  3. Raven following the squirrel I'm feeding because that squirrel cannot carry all those snacks, lady, do the math we all gotta eat okay
    California
  4. Pika standing on top of a rock screaming at the sky
    Wyoming
  5. Bachelor bison sitting in the middle of a totally empty field, moping.
    ~buffalone~
  6. Elk in the parking lot luxuriating in shade of cars that could kill it
    "It's hot and I'm a national treasure, y'all can heckin' deal with your goddamn toyotas where's your sense of patriotism now huh"
  7. Roadrunner leading us like a spirit guide only to show us where he takes dirtbaths, stupid tourists!!! drink it up!!!
    Texas obviously
  8. Dog absolutely weeping that he has to be at another Historical Point of Interest
    "It's not my history, you assholes, leave me in the caaaaar"
  9. Two elephant seals either making out or fighting with their goofy-ass Star Wars cantina hose faces
    Teenagers tho amirite
  10. A live armadillo
    Just kidding they do not exist