1. The CEO of the park has NO IDEA there's a massive project housing a mutant dinosaur occupying the entire north side of the island .
  2. Only 3 people know the genetic makeup of said dinosaur.
  3. The dinosaur is a genetic abomination even the Nazis would recognize as a crime against nature.
  4. Heels. Just, the fucking heels. We all know already, but the heels.
  5. Everyone is shitty. Chris Pratt. His co-workers. The parents. The kids. The velociraptors. Except the little brother. He's sweet. But the older one needs to get a grip on his penis-brain.
  6. The premise that we, as a species, have mastered the cloning and splicing of MILLION YEAR OLD DNA, and yet the biggest problem we face 22 years later is DINOSAURS on ONE REMOTE ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN???