...because I have no canoe and there's no water where I live.
  1. I can walk with a canoe on my head. For up to a quarter mile.
  2. I can push a canoe off from shore and seamlessly hop into the back while it's gliding gracefully away.
  3. I can stand on the back of a canoe and make it hop up and down like a frog. This is called gunnel/gunwale pumping.*
  4. (*Okay, I did this once or twice. 25 years ago. Probably doesn't count as a skill.)