26 THINGS I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO AT 26

  1. 1.
    A cartwheel
  2. 2.
    Apply fake eyelashes
  3. 3.
    Light a match
  4. 4.
    Pronounce esthete
  5. 5.
    Curl my hair with any reliability of result
  6. 6.
    Change a tire
  7. 7.
    Find Tom Hanks to be a compelling romantic lead
  8. 8.
    Taxes
  9. 9.
    Hold back tears when I know I'm going to cry but I also know it would make me seem uncool or vulnerable or weak in a situation
  10. 10.
    Iron
  11. 11.
    Ask for the price of a special at a restaurant before I order it
    Cool thing I remembered I didn't know when I ordered a $150 white truffle tortellini dish last night
  12. 12.
    Basic calculus
  13. 13.
    Leave the house earlier than 10 minutes after I'd intended
  14. 14.
    Contour
    I can highlight like a motherfucker though
  15. 15.
    Fold a cloth napkin into a decorative swan or any animal
  16. 16.
    Pull off bangs
  17. 17.
    Plan a dinner or any meal without breaking into hives
  18. 18.
    Respect the delicate balance between charming inquisitiveness and obnoxious prying
  19. 19.
    Make small talk
  20. 20.
    Re-upholster a chair
  21. 21.
    Be patient without reminding myself to be and even then
  22. 22.
    Keep my cool around a crush
  23. 23.
    Hold my tequila
  24. 24.
    Watch a French movie without subtitles
    10 years of French lessons and I can say pamplemousse
  25. 25.
    Sew a button
  26. 26.
    Play an instrument