AN ACTUAL EXCHANGE I JUST HAD WITH A CASHIER AT BARNES & NOBLE

  1. She rings up my purchase, the winter Tin House.
  2. I throw it in my tote and begin to walk away.
  3. She stops me.
  4. "Pop quiz!"
  5. I turn back. I think she's gonna make the hard sell for the Barnes & Noble loyalty card.
  6. She begins: "What would you do if your friend who was watching your cats just found out she can't have cats in her apartment and you can't have your cats back because you can't have cats in your apartment which is why you gave her your cats in the first place but you're moving apartments and you need to be gone by December 22nd...?"
  7. "Um..." I laugh nervously.
  8. "I don't want to send them to a no-kill shelter because even they eventually euthanize them and I can't board them because that would be like $1000 a month. What would you do?"
  9. "Um, I'm sorry I don't know. Maybe you can find a foster for them. I've never had cats so I'm not sure what's best for them."
  10. "Oh. I'm sorry, I just...I figured: you're a woman who reads."
  11. AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT