ANATOMY OF AN UNCOMFORTABLE UBER RIDE HAPPENING IN REAL TIME

  1. Tells me I smell good when I get in
    ty frederic malle
  2. Asks if I've thought about modeling
    Sure dude
  3. I tell him I'm late and ask if he can hurry (which is an obnoxious type-A thing to ask I know) and he says with a smug grin: "What are you going to do for me?"
  4. Note: he is taking me to Bethesda so we are gonna spend a lot of time together
  5. I put on my headphones as he tries to make more conversation. He asks if I want to connect my spotify to his stereo. LOLOLOL NO
  6. I lie and tell him I have to listen to "an interview for work"
  7. Now I have to listen to the Dreamgirls soundtrack at an incredibly low volume because I don't want him to catch me in a lie and yes I listen to the Dreamgirls soundtrack on the way to my psychiatrist appointment
    Only god (and my psychiatrist) can judge me
  8. *Update: he kept trying to talk to me and forcing me to take my headphones out to hear his questions so I had to say "sorry I'm on deadline" LOL WUT