EVERY REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK TAGLINE EVER, RANKED

Filed under "things I researched and made to postpone editing an essay"
  1. 1.
    “I’m living the American dream, one mistake at a time.” – Kelly (Season 4)
    This is too real. I love it so much. I think it's such a soulful commentary on the myth of the American Dream.
  2. 2.
    “My yacht may have sailed, but my ship is coming in.” – Sonja (Season 7)
    This show is about second chances and third acts
  3. 3.
    “When people tell me I’m fake, I know they’re just pulling my leg.” – Aviva (Season 6)
    She had a prosthetic leg.
  4. 4.
    “Sometimes Sonja has to go commando. What can I say?” – Sonja (Season 6)
    She meant *emotionally* commando. I think.
  5. 5.
    “I run with a fabulous circle of people.” – Jill (Seasons 1-3)
    Right to the point. It was all in the way she said "fabulous."
  6. 6.
    “If you’re going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass.” – Carole (Season 6)
  7. 7.
    “I have a taste for luxury, and luxury has a taste for me.” – Sonja (Season 4)
  8. 8.
    “I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m pretty!” – Kristen (Season 6)
  9. 9.
    “I like making my own money, I find that an aphrodisiac.” – Ramona (Seasons 1-3)
  10. 10.
    “I may be a princess, but I’m definitely not a drama queen.” – Carole (Season 5)
    I like reminding people you're a princess
  11. 11.
    “Get the pinot ready, because it’s Turtle Time” – Ramona (Season 6)
    An inside joke about a time on the show Ramona got drunk
  12. 12.
    “If people can’t handle the truth, it’s really not my problem.” – Ramona (Season 4)
  13. 13.
    “A little Sonja will spice up any party.” – Sonja (Season 5)
    I love putting your name in your tagline. Great branding.
  14. 14.
    “Never underestimate a woman born and raised in New York City.” – Aviva (Season 5)
    Fine.
  15. 15.
    “To some people, living elegantly just comes naturally.” – LuAnn (Season 5)
  16. 16.
    “To a certain group of people in New York, status is everything.” – Alex (Seasons 1-3)
  17. 17.
    “All play and no work makes me a happy girl.” – Carole (Season 7)
    Carole you're a writer! Do better!
  18. 18.
    “I thought I had it good before, but I'm just getting started.” – LuAnn (Season 4)
  19. 19.
    “I’m not afraid to say what everyone else is thinking.” – Ramona (Season 5)
  20. 20.
    “I give uptown a whole new attitude.” – Dorinda (Season 7)
  21. 21.
    “One should know: never count out the countess.” – LuAnn (Season 7)
  22. 22.
    “Pretty is smarter than you think.”– Kristen (Season 7)
  23. 23.
    “Good or bad, I am who I am” – Jill (Season 4)
    The problem was this was often bad.
  24. 24.
    “I’ve created a great life and I love living it.” – Kelly (Seasons 1-3)
  25. 25.
    “I have everything I’ve ever wanted, and it’s all on my own terms.” – Cindy (Season 4)
    She lasted 1 season. She did too much.
  26. 26.
    “New York City is my playground.” – Bethenny (Seasons 1-3)
    Snooze
  27. 27.
    “I never feel guilty about being privileged.” – LuAnn (Seasons 1-3)
    never?
  28. 28.
    “I know I’m a piece of work, but now I’m a work in progress.” – Ramona (Season 7)
    These are both bad things to be!
  29. 29.
    “I’m not a housewife, but I am REAL.” – Bethenny (Season 7)
  30. 30.
    “I’ve always had opinions, but now people know it.” – Alex (Season 4)
    That's so sad.
  31. 31.
    “A true New Yorker never backs down, and I’m no exception. Holla!” – Heather (Season 6)
    I like Heather but I can't with the fucking Holla!
  32. 32.
    “My success is built on making women look and feel their best. Holla!” – Heather (Season 5)
  33. 33.
    “I’m stronger than anything in my way. Holla!” – Heather (Season 7)