I'M THE FRIEND YOU CALL IF YOU

  1. Want to talk about people we went to high school with over strong coffee
  2. Crave a wine and cheese night
  3. Are house-sitting two bernese mountain dogs and want company
  4. Need to pick out wallpaper
  5. Wish to partake in a spa treatment or antiquing expedition
  6. Want to talk about Susan Miller or Raymond Chandler or Erik Von Detten or Mary Gaitskill or RuPaul or Joan Didion or the Golden Girls or Kobe or Little Edie or Reagan or Emily Gilmore or lifestyle bloggers or china patterns or my eyebrows or your eyebrows...
  7. ...Or dysfunctional families or egg sandwiches or gender roles or SSRIs or Faye Dunaway or red lipstick or the Real Housewives or taxidermy
  8. Like having Troop Beverly Hills quoted at you
  9. Want to lose at Scrabble
  10. Need to shop for new moisturizer or perfume
  11. Want to explore an earthy yet bougie part of California
  12. Can't decide which color of Le Creuset cookware to register for
  13. Want to just come over and drink la croix and giggly read my copy of Sextrology and listen to Prince and bitch about the people who've done us wrong but in a cute way not a bitter way (well, 60/40)