QUESTIONS A CASHIER AT TRADER JOE'S JUST ASKED ME

I love the people at Trader Joe's even though I hate small talk more than I hate Dick Cheney
  1. 1.
    "Can I see your ID?"
    "Sure" [she scans $6 bottle of rosé]
  2. 2.
    "Where in California are you from?"
    "LA"
  3. 3.
    "Oh wow. What brought you here?"
    "Work"
  4. 4.
    "Where do you work?"
    "I worked in the Senate until a week ago"
  5. 5.
    "What are you doing now?"
    "Uh...I don't really know."
  6. 6.
    "Why did you leave your job?"
    "I wanted to do something else"
  7. 7.
    "What did you major in?"
    "History and politics"
  8. 8.
    "You double-majored?"
    "Yeah" [I didn't. I didn't want to explain that I actually minored in politics]
  9. 9.
    "DC is a great place to look for work"
    "Yeah"
  10. 10.
    "Did you choose your apartment because it's close to this Trader Joe's?"
    "Haha yeah"
  11. 11.
    "Don't you love the smell of this bread?"
    "I do. It's so great"
  12. 12.
    "What are these for?" [holds up the white hydrangeas I was buying]
    "My apartment"