TRACY JORDAN'S GUIDE TO CHINA'S STOCK MARKET CRASH
Inspired by @Voxdotcom
- •The Asian markets are in turmoil, but Tracy's here
- •He's not an expert but he has a strong opinion
- •The crash will have a global ripple effect. Manhattan, in particular, will be hit hard. New York as we know it will no longer existIt will regress to the days before Starbuck
- •Wall Street will crash, and it'll be the 70s all over againPeople will get mean. The streets won't be safe.
- •It'll be graffiti everywhere
- •Movies will cost less than a Starbuck
- •So what you need to do is take a deep breath, calm down, and start preparing your bodies for the Thunderdome.
- •Withdraw all your money and hide it, wherever you can
- •Again, panic.
- •Cause the Disneyfication of New York is over
- •At the stroke of midnight, your carriage is going to turn back into a pumpkin.
- •Srsly panic