TRACY JORDAN'S GUIDE TO CHINA'S STOCK MARKET CRASH

Inspired by @Voxdotcom
  1. The Asian markets are in turmoil, but Tracy's here
  2. He's not an expert but he has a strong opinion
  3. The crash will have a global ripple effect. Manhattan, in particular, will be hit hard. New York as we know it will no longer exist
    It will regress to the days before Starbuck
  4. Wall Street will crash, and it'll be the 70s all over again
    People will get mean. The streets won't be safe.
  5. It'll be graffiti everywhere
  6. Movies will cost less than a Starbuck
  7. So what you need to do is take a deep breath, calm down, and start preparing your bodies for the Thunderdome.
  8. Panic.
  9. Withdraw all your money and hide it, wherever you can
  10. Again, panic.
  11. Cause the Disneyfication of New York is over
  12. At the stroke of midnight, your carriage is going to turn back into a pumpkin.
  13. Srsly panic