THINGS I KNOW I'LL FUCK UP

  1. My Wedding Vows
  2. Putting on my Patients' Anti-Embolism Stockings
    The real-life equivalent of putting 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag and I fuck it up EVERY. TIME.
  3. A Huge Bowl of Rare Beef Pho
    NOM
  4. My Children
    Their fault for potentially being born to me
  5. Whitney Houston Karaoke
    Every godamn time
  6. When I'm Supposed to Say Amen During Religious Services
    And the acoustics are always WAY too good
  7. Negotiations
  8. My Tax Forms
  9. My Eyeliner
    When you just keep adding more to match the other eye and start looking like Amy
  10. Riding a Horse
    Just a suspicion I have