1. Never let a fisherman with a chewing habit, run out of tobacco while you're miles out at sea
    The engineer of the boat I worked on tried to fight me
  2. Lesbians wedding are fun
  3. Just because you can purchase 5 shots for 5 euros doesn't mean you should
  4. Graffiti artists are incredibly fast runners
  5. I'm the fucking best Latino dancer after I've had 5 shots for 5 euros
  6. There's no word in Italian for "no thanks, I'm full"
  7. Sicilians love foosball
  8. Most of LA is sketchy when you don't have a car
  9. When you meet one of your favorite authors at a book signing, you'll forget everything you had to say to him and just ask him if he likes Woody Allen @bjnovak