How to Get Through Surgery and Life, or What I've Learned in the Last Five Days
last week i had surgery that was a long time coming. something i needed to do for myself that I've been putting off because when you're a mom you tend to come in last place. here are a five things I've learned in a few short days.
- •surgery is scary - it's important to do everything you need to do to feel safe.for me, this involved sending @AlexandraLouise a million emails. what I learned from her is an entire list in itself! i asked my doctors a ton of questions abt what to expect & it really helped in the end. life is all abt expectations, right? the team I had was amazing. I went in & woke up to warm, smiling faces telling me how awesome & strong I am & that it was their privilege to do this work, which made me cry (probably the drugs too). looking forward to sending them all lots of juice!
- •you are nothing without your personal team.as a mom, leaving my kids for a few days is not easy. i needed to feel like everything was covered and am so grateful to have family and friends that come through for me. my mother in law, my best friend and my sister have all been pulling their weight- while one of them helps get the children to bed, the others are bringing me food, bathing me, and sleeping next to me in my hotel room. but the real award goes to my husband.
- •having a life partner who is 💯 is such an incredible thing.if I thought he was an incredible man before, I really had no idea. this dude encouraged me to do something i really never would have allowed myself to do, sent me off with so much assurance, and when i woke up, had a stack of magazines by the hospital bed, a new cozy robe, and a hotel with nurses booked for me with room for my sister and best friend. his only orders: don't worry about the kids-- I have them covered. Just heal. I appreciate him so much.
- •stop feeling guilty.it's so amazing how much guilt women (and all people) put on themselves and how hard it is to let go and do something good for yourself. to be kind to everyone else is so easy for me, but to treat myself as though I'm worthy of taking care of my mental and physical wellbeing and the rest and recuperation that comes along with it-- it is such a long and winding road to get there. I'm a work in progress, and I'm meditating each day on letting the guilt fall away.
- •realize that you deserve to feel good about yourself.this is really personal & not something I normally share, but I was born with a congenital abnormality that has stuck with me my whole life. while it never posed a dangerous threat to my health, it caused a lifetime of physical discomfort & damage to my body image. part of the surgery was so that I could continue the work on my self confidence. hating my body has taken up so much space in my life that could be filled with creativity. (another epiphany I came to thru talking to @AlexandraLouise!)