THINGS I'VE NOT DONE AT 30 THAT MY 8 YEAR OLD SELF WOULD NOT BELIEVE

When I was 8 I thought 30 was 'really old' and 'a proper adult'...turns out I'm neither...I have not...
  1. Bought a house. Surprisingly not through financial concern but from a commitment issue (nb. will likely be a common theme.)
  2. Got married. Sure there have been several princes' who have found my shoe and dropped down on one knee (in my dreams).
  3. Had a child. When 'adults' live together a stork drops off a baby for them to look after right?
  4. Got a dog. As much as I am desperate for a canine companion apparently it's 'unfair' with the hours I work. Oh yeah and no one tells you about the 'compromise' part. I'm supposed to be an 'adult' but Mr.Me doesn't like dogs.
  5. Moved to America. That's where everything good happened on the TV right? So I'll be living there right? Right in the middle of all the good stuff right? Errrrr yeah.
  6. Learned to play guitar. I've owned several but apparently commitment is a prerequisite to learning.