A GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING WHY PEOPLE LOVE PHISH FOR ANYONE WHO ALREADY KNOWS THEY HATE THEM

Because you already do, don't you.
  1. It's the only concert you can go to and actually watch a band instead of a sea of iPhones taking Instagrams
    Wild, right?
  2. The parking lot before a show turns into a mini-mall for everything you'd ever need / want/ crave
    $2 beers! Funny pins! Punny tshirts! Seasoned grilled cheeses! Delicious quesadillas! Cool cozies! It's truly it's own little world.
  3. Glow wars!!!!!!!!!
    Just a lil' thing where people bring hundreds of glow sticks and chuck them in the air, magically, at the same time during a great song.
  4. Seeing men in skirts dancing so freely.
    It never gets old
  5. Edibles!
    Oh, you think Colorado weed shops are cool? Just wait.
  6. Every show is completely different.
    A-list pop stars wear the same costumes and move in the same poses every night for 16 months. Phish repeat nothing. Ever.
  7. People are incomparably friendly.
    It's just how it is. It's like Mayberry, for one night only.
  8. It's ALL about the music.
    People leave Taylor Swift shows talking about what celebrity guest came on stage. People leave Phish talking about how good Trey played. Know what I mean?
  9. Every song has its own "bits", with call-outs, sing-a-longs and props.
    For one song, they all come out on trampolines and play while jumping in unison. It's amazing!
  10. Being surrounded by thousands of people who are happy and having fun and not worrying about how dumb they look grooving to a beat.
    Try to find even two of those at happy hour. (You can't.)
  11. It's a great way to dive into musical spheres you've never given a second look to.
    If you don't know who Derek Trucks is by name or can't recall six Buddy Guy songs by memory, you are an ideal candidate.
  12. You get more bang for your buck than any other concert
    Two full sets and an encore. They're working so hard for you!
  13. Grilled Cheese will never be better anywhere else.
    This is a fact. (It's the seasonings.)
  14. The audience isn't The Sixth Man. The lighting engineer is.
    So beautiful and bright and perfectly synced with the improvised jams, It's like July 4th comes early every time.
  15. Everything about the band is basically an inside joke.
    The circular patterns on blankets and t-shirts. The Milky Way candy bar-shaped logo t-shirts. Once you're in, you're part of something so special.
  16. Because really, would this many people be into it if it was whack?
  17. CRUCIAL UPDATE: Tonight they played the song they do trampolines on! (It's real!)