full-time writer + formerly in the music industry + insane mom + low tolerance = recipe for opportunity, potential for disaster.
  1. Jessica Simpson
    While in New York during high school, my mom saw Jessica Simpson getting into her SUV surrounded by fans. She grabbed me, half-hopped in the trunk to take a picture of the back of her head, and got shoved away by security. I still have the picture. It's hilarious.
  2. Jon Hamm
    I was very drunk and very hungry, and asked him if he had any candy. At 3am. I defended myself by claiming i'd heard rumor that he always has a pocket filled with gummies...which was a total lie. I still wonder if he googled "Jon Hamm gummies" on the ride home.
  3. Trey Anastasio
    Met a few times, and encounters were mostly great...until I offered to babysit his kids and (dumb) asked for (DUMB) business card (?!?! DUMB!!!) He laughed and said he didn't have one. So dumb.
  4. Marcus Samuelsson
    I attended a swanky upfront at the Museum of Natural History with my husband's band, and made a really weird, awkward cannibal joke that he was very confused by.
  5. Some guy from 90210 (original cast)
    My mom used me as bait while on vacation in Miami to "see if it was him or not" by saying I was a huge fan of the show. I was nine. Netflix didn't exist yet. This plan was deeply flawed.
  6. Seth Rogan
    Did you know they serve you endless champagne at the VMA's? Neither did I. Oof.
  7. Drummer of a band that shall not be named
    I finagled my way into a pre-show date, which ended with us walking to the venue silently because he had to "get into the zone". Actually, you know what? This ones on him.
  8. Drake
    I threw myself under the bus to ask some weird questions about Hanukkah for a video package for work. We got the clip 👌 but he laughed in my face 😞
  9. I was once on an (unaired) episode of The City for Epic Records, and you were so nice and invited me to your karaoke birthday! I proceeded to eat shit at a Hall & Oates song in front of everyone as they tried not to laugh. I have been on a karaoke ban since. (This is actually my most embarrassing moment.) so sorry 😳