DIETS I'VE RECENTLY CONSIDERED GOING ON

  1. The Orange is the New Black Diet
    Remember when Red froze out Piper? Remember how gaunt she got? THAT diet.
  2. The Nora Ephron Diet
    Famously said she ate bread once a day. So, all veggies, one serving of protien and one delicious baguette to start the day off.
  3. The Shtetl Diet
    Oatmeal for breakfast, cabbage soup for lunch and "whatever my family can find" for dinner
  4. The Poor New Yorker Diet
    Only eat when it's free -- cheese cubes at art openings, cupcakes at press functions, and as many samples as you can scarf.
  5. The Sleep Diet
    Casually mentioned as a joke by Kendra on The Girls Next Door, but has stuck with me ever since. Hungry? Take a nap. Sleep in through breakfast. Kind of brilliant, actually.
  6. The New Mom Diet
    You're busy feeding other people that you only get a chance to eat scraps once others are done. (Perfect if you co-habitate with someone with good Seamless tendencies.)
  7. The Overnight Camp Diet
    Three square meals, at the same time every day, with about three hours of daily physical activity.
  8. The "I'm Too Busy To Eat!" Diet
    Get, like, so serious about work. Coffee, coffee, write, make fake deadlines, more coffee, more, how is it midnight?!
  9. Death
    You seen a cadaver? SO thin.