STUFF THAT APPARENTLY MAKES ME "SO MIDWESTERN"

I'm from Chicago. I've lived in New York for five years. I still don't understand you people.
  1. Wanting to introduce myself to neighbors upon moving in
  2. Saying a verbal hello in elevators
  3. Assuming you have to put out
    I still think it's the polite thing to do. I know. It's not good.
  4. Thinking knowing a mutual person is the same as being friends
  5. Holding a door, anywhere, for anyone
  6. Making new friends at Sunday morning barre class
  7. Verbally refusing to let other people pay for my liquor when bills are split and they are not drinking
  8. Offering people dresses I'm not taking at sample sales
  9. Befriending, like, every waiter on earth
    Waiters are just friends who haven't suggested the steak frites to you yet!
  10. Thanking store owners when I leave, even if we have not spoken until that point
  11. Having fallen for every New York mistake
    Including thinking I could walk through the subway Exit door without being caught, ug
  12. Needing to put out snacks whenever someone comes over
  13. Buying many things I don't want to because I feel bad saying no to salespeople, crafters, artists, and people shilling their music
  14. Hating cold weather so, so, so, so, so, so, so much
    I've put in my God damn time!